liquid deception
#6
these two lines:

cleansing away the world
for eternity

sounds a bit cliched. it could be reworked. and i feel 'to' works better than 'for'.
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Messages In This Thread
liquid deception - by lanamyheart - 09-27-2014, 11:25 AM
RE: liquid deception - by Brownlie - 09-27-2014, 12:11 PM
RE: liquid deception - by lanamyheart - 09-28-2014, 03:00 AM
RE: liquid deception - by Tamara - 09-27-2014, 12:43 PM
RE: liquid deception - by lanamyheart - 09-28-2014, 02:55 AM
RE: liquid deception - by Tamara - 09-28-2014, 03:11 AM
RE: liquid deception - by billy - 09-28-2014, 05:52 PM



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