haiku/senryu

[Tiger the Lion]

they all have the same concept. so i thought of posting them together instead of having separate posts and take up the space.

Hi Tam, great to see you posting these short impressions, one of my favorite forms as you might have noticed. Some thoughts...

whirlpool good

deep and unfathomable -"unfathomable is a big enough word- do you need "deep and"

your eyes "your" is maybe implied so....

for full brevity I think....

unfathomable

whirlpool

eyes

says it all

*********

blue iris

our gazes same idea, do you need "our"

mingle

*********

midnight blue

the love in 

his eyes...

midnight blue

love

in his eyes

*********

aquamarine

the sea in

my palm

*********

blue

the green in

my turquoise ring

Not gonna touch the last two for now. I like the first 2 the most. Sorry about the font glitches, I hope you can still take something from my thoughts. Good work.   Paul