Wasted Spring

[StanleyZ]

Walking bare footed on the turf of past
With an unusual nonchalance for the changing
season,
Spring's music echoed and died away so fast,
But no songs or laments did reach this garden.
Sweet fragrance of ripe fruits went unnoticed
Wind wandered around with unheard whispers
And the thunderstorms above just stared,
troubled,
Bird held their tongues fearing impolite answers
With foggy vision I looked above at sky
The welcoming rainbow's smile
But couldn't return the gesture, why?
I wonder till this while.

wow, whoever this speaker is, he/she sure does seem pensive. The speaker talks about the ending of Spring, a wasted Spring. Maybe the speaker is having trouble letting go of something? After all he/she is walking bare footed in the turf of past. Does that mean the turf in the midst of a passing season, or is the speaker being nostalgic? I like to think it sort of means both, but the past turf becomes a literal setting in the form of a garden. Well gardens are nice, the happiest thing presented so far... But the songs of Spring never touched this garden. The fruit wasn't even redolent! Even the wind seems to ignore this place. This is definitely no Eden. If it all weren't bad enough now the birds are unresponsive by-standers and not even the storm is willing to touch this place. Finally the speaker finds closure in the following rainbow, but it isn't enough to assuage the dreariness of a "wasted spring".

What I find intriguing is that Spring is supposed to lead into summer. You have all of these allusions to time and changing seasons, but the atmosphere of this poem screams Autumn to me. It doesn't feel like Spring at all, which I imagine was your intention. That is cool, if not a bit unsettling, but poetry doesn't need a happy ending. Your lines are quite long as well. Having that many syllables in a line isn't something I do often. It almost feels to me that this should be in basic meter. I feel like if you cut it down a little bit you could have a great opportunity to use subtle imperfections in the meter to reinforce your theme.