Wasted Spring

[Brownlie]

Walking bare footed on the turf of past -- Turf of past seems awfully abstract
With an unusual nonchalance for the changing -- This is sort of like two parenthetical bits of info in a row. For instance, I could write. With glee, with sadness, I went to the store. However, that may sound awkward which I suppose you could toy with. I'm quite sure if I'm getting at anything relevant here.
season,
Spring's music echoed and died away, -- Maybe use an adverb like quickly for fast
but no songs or laments reached the garden: -- Did reach sounds awkward syntactically
sweet fragrance of ripe fruits went unnoticed;
wind wandered around with unheard whispers;
And the thunderstorms above just stared,
troubled.
Fearing impolite answers, birds held their tongues. - Birds. I wasn't quite sure what the fearing impolite answers applied to, but I tinkered with the syntax. However, this sentence reads a bit out of place like a sentence that doesn't belong in a paragraph.
With foggy vision, I looked above at sky -- At sky is a little awkward
The welcoming rainbow's smile -- Something seems off here.
But couldn't return the gesture, why?
I wonder till this while. -- till this while is what some would call poetical. This means it sounds like what poetry in books sort of reads like when authors like Wordsworth deviate from their purpose of representing a common or natural language, so to speak.

I like the topic, good luck.