09-25-2014, 06:09 PM
I Know One Thing
--no emboldening, no underline
Pile the ashes
[cut:up] into a hill.
Burn[ed] paper, dr[y]
--burnt paper is paper with a burn; burned paper is ashes
--"dried" makes it seem like some agent dried them
leaves, without romance.
--without romance? Do you mean "unceremoniously"? Romance is, usually, the sexual goings-on of adults
--are the leaves ash???
--overall, this stanza is a frag, and I don't see a reason why it needs to be
Flames flat, quiet,
drain colours out
--is "flat" a verb??? I can't go there w you
and shrivel what's left.
--what's left? I don't have any idea, but you'd think it'd be the most important info in the poem
Pile the ashes,
no white, no black,
just grey.
Back!
--is the "no white, no black" a command? a description of the ash? a notion of the narrator?
--no emboldening, no underline
Pile the ashes
[cut:up] into a hill.
Burn[ed] paper, dr[y]
--burnt paper is paper with a burn; burned paper is ashes
--"dried" makes it seem like some agent dried them
leaves, without romance.
--without romance? Do you mean "unceremoniously"? Romance is, usually, the sexual goings-on of adults
--are the leaves ash???
--overall, this stanza is a frag, and I don't see a reason why it needs to be
Flames flat, quiet,
drain colours out
--is "flat" a verb??? I can't go there w you
and shrivel what's left.
--what's left? I don't have any idea, but you'd think it'd be the most important info in the poem
Pile the ashes,
no white, no black,
just grey.
Back!
--is the "no white, no black" a command? a description of the ash? a notion of the narrator?
A yak is normal.