See what's wrong?

[crow]

These are some lyrics I wrote a year ago, and I thought I'd put them up so' see can tear them apart. They seem clearly to violate the Lyrics primer--anyway, so, if anyone wants to kick these around, I think it'd be instructive:

So She Rides


[Verse]
Parker County, Texas,
Just before the line,
Hitchin' up my pony, 
Peaches getting ripe.

Saw you silhouetted
Like you was made of air
South of the old forty
North of where you care.

[Chorus]
I was wise
Until the springtime
I was strong
Til you made me reach

Parker County ever cross your mind?
Every time I eat a peach.

[Bridge]
And she rides on without me
Girl can shoot a gun
And she pulled til it emptied
Saw her pony as she run.

[Chorus]
Now there's scars in the orchard
And the tracks the pony spun
Don't wash out in the summer squalls
And I love that pony, don't it run?