Elevator Music

[StanleyZ]

The doors kissed to mark the start
of another trip to the ground floor.
Soft jazz battles with the burlap silence
of a man and woman alone together.
Thoughts stay home to hum, tap, and sigh
at the sight of another missed opportunity.

The first thing you present in this piece is an image of doors coming together.
Not only are the doors coming together, they are kissing! The tone becomes
Intimate in the first three words. I like how that set the theme of the poem up.
The speaker never says love, but the sight of a missed opportunity. The opportunity
for love is tactfully reinforced by the word sigh, as in "love at first site."
Well done on that note. Now then the second line materializes an image of
An elavator going to the ground floor, the idea of falling can be associated
With that image, as in "falling in love". And let's not forget there are 2 people
In this elavator that is falling. But now the speaker leads us into an awkward ness
Where the strangers only share the sound of the elavator music. That is so important,
Because it is your title. The music is what this conflict becomes centered around.
In stead of reaching out the man and woman's thoughts are at "home" lost in the
Comfort of the smooth jazz. However this comforting feeling is a distraction from
What is right in front of them, the act of starting a conversation. A missed oppurtunity
To potentially find love. The piece is tightly knit around that theme, and you pack plenty
Of literary devices to support it implicitly.

The word burlap tripped me up a bit. I picture that stuff plants are wrapped in when I think of it,
Maybe you wanted the image of a rough material? I think that might not be the ideal image
Given how soft and smooth the rest of your connotation is. The other word battled also is a bit out
Of place. This is just a typical scene between typical people in a typical building, nothing here is
Anywhere near violent so why throw a word like battle in? Maybe you have a good reason,but
Don't deny the opportunity to play with the connotation of the words.

Sorry if this was hard to read. I am new here, and I'm not especially familiar with forums, also I am on a phone.
I hope you appreciate my little break down of your poem through my eyes!