09-25-2014, 11:27 AM
There was a commercial a number of years ago about two people fantasizing about their lives together in an elevator ride. It was terrific. From first look to marriage. All in 20 seconds or so. I think the accompanying song was "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family / David Cassidy. I really flashed on that as I read your poem.
"Kissed" is perfect.
Not sure about "burlap"…also not sure about the last image. "Missed opportunity" is really flat to me. Wouldn't mind "seeing" that opportunity somehow, rather than you just telling me about it.
71degrees
"Kissed" is perfect.
Not sure about "burlap"…also not sure about the last image. "Missed opportunity" is really flat to me. Wouldn't mind "seeing" that opportunity somehow, rather than you just telling me about it.
71degrees