09-25-2014, 04:35 AM
Meth baby, meth!
AR, if you wish to be more impact, you could remove the "on". Then you are basically just listing the ingredients. You mix ancient pond+frog+drugs=event. I'm not saying it is right or better, you just might want to write it that way and see how that effects the reading. I also think that leaving the "on" out, it reads more quickly. I think the event supports a quicker reading in the writing, as there is no slowing in the film.
Dale
AR, if you wish to be more impact, you could remove the "on". Then you are basically just listing the ingredients. You mix ancient pond+frog+drugs=event. I'm not saying it is right or better, you just might want to write it that way and see how that effects the reading. I also think that leaving the "on" out, it reads more quickly. I think the event supports a quicker reading in the writing, as there is no slowing in the film.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.