Grandeur

[billy]

on first impression it reads pretty slick then i realize i don't get it i see three statement reinforcing each other but with what? for me the poem as whole needs a bit more context.

and HI ...again

Grandeur

Let the books fall
like whale carcasses
flopping onto the filthy
dusty floor. sounds good but whales don't flop onto dusty floors, it's a sort of mixed metaphor i think sandy floor or sandy seabed would be a suggestion.

Let narration from YouTube videos fill
up the spaces with white noise, when i see/hear [up the] i take it as show or put in more, but i think i get what you're saying, (youtube videos are as boring as background noise.)
as words diffuse from a British lady
into senseless garbles.

Let shadows of thoughts drown,
bubble, and sink;
because in this place,
even gods can die.

-----------------------------------

I'm back!! Woohoo! It has been a while. Hello everyone! =)