haiku

[Magpie]

bluebottle on pizza
fly swatter squashes it-
who wants this piece

Interesting write Billy, I like it.
I think you could drop 'fly' from the second line and it wouldn't lose anything. I'm also thinking that if you were to change the second line round to read 'squashed by swatter-' then that would close down the time frame of events happening because as it is it reads like three separate moments where as using the 'squashed by swatter-' line puts the moment at the question. Although saying that it the second line could be interpreted as past tense.

Mark