haiku

[Tamara]

"etched on the moon
behind the clouds
my listless wandering"

'Etched' and 'my' aren't necessary.

Haiku isn't the scene, it's the observer viewing it.
The writer composes it to enable the reader to experience it.
Nature isn't outside us or inside us, it IS us
(crickets and cherry blossoms and frogs and us).

If the moon is wandering, we are wandering.
So:

behind the clouds
the moon
wandering

 

Thank you for that great explanation. It made sense. And I am sure it is going to help me in my haiku writing.