dad

dad

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

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09-23-2014, 02:36 AM

(09-20-2014, 12:39 PM)Tamara Wrote: or for more clarity,

slipping feet into large sized shoes
feet cling on to memories
you live

i think this is much better.

is [feet] needed on the first line as what you're doing is a given.
is [on] needed as it doesn't really add anything?

good effort

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Messages In This Thread

dad - by Tamara - 09-20-2014, 12:39 PM

RE: dad - by ellajam - 09-20-2014, 01:19 PM

RE: dad - by just mercedes - 09-20-2014, 01:42 PM

RE: dad - by Tamara - 09-21-2014, 01:12 AM

RE: dad - by ChristopherSea - 09-22-2014, 09:03 PM

RE: dad - by Tamara - 09-22-2014, 09:37 PM

RE: dad - by ChristopherSea - 09-22-2014, 11:02 PM

RE: dad - by Tamara - 09-23-2014, 01:05 AM

RE: dad - by billy - 09-23-2014, 02:36 AM

RE: dad - by Mwaba don - 09-23-2014, 02:58 AM

RE: dad - by Tamara - 09-24-2014, 12:32 AM

RE: dad - by haikutec - 09-30-2014, 01:49 AM

RE: dad - by Tamara - 09-30-2014, 02:04 AM

RE: dad - by haikutec - 09-30-2014, 02:21 AM

RE: dad - by azure - 11-25-2014, 12:22 PM

RE: dad - by dwestmor - 01-01-2015, 06:20 AM

RE: dad - by Leah S. - 01-04-2015, 03:35 AM

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