Eyelids, edit 2

[cjchaffin]

Was it clear that, once you reach the end of the poem, you're meant to read it backward? That's what the closing line and extra title are meant to suggest . . .

not particularly. edit #2 is much tighter and i like it more so than edit #1 but what brings it full circle for me is this line:

and you'll try not to blink when they come for you.


that right there is what makes me want to go back to the beginning and reread, not necessarily backward, and not based on the repetition of the title.


it's not a dealbreaker though. good edit.