Not Being From New York

[billy]

if i had a nit it would be with the number of and's in the first stanza; petty i know but i did notice their use and maybe i shouldn't have. i like the comparison of there and here. and how the midwest seem to have an aversion to dead fir coats. some of the images are excellent and the depth of them just as rich.
the first stanza made the reader rip through it while the second felt more inviting. the change of pace worked very well for me. i'm surprised it didn't feel too wordy (apart from the and's) it's was probably because of good strong narrative/insights. thanks for the read.

 
Not being from New York I can’t say for sure
but I hear there’s an up-charge for whiskey, neat, i like the way neat works and neat (on it's own) and neat as in (it's good) i also like it being use with the internal rhyme and as well as the alliteration in the next line
in bars with women with wheat- colored hair
and coral lipstick; wearing dresses, all black
with no sleeves and, mostly too, no shoulders
and cut high to show tiny thighs not touching,
and they say it’s because of no ice,
the up-charge, in whiskey bars with booming music
by and large too loud played by DJs with blue-dyed [DJ's]
hair and silver high-gauge studs nearly touching
their thin, beskulled t-shirts, black and stained
with gin, costing more than a week’s pay
plus dry-cleaning and delivery.
 
Here we mostly drink beer in cold dark bottles,
the Midwest flat and arid, needing rain
yet only dry thunderstorms come,  not a splat
of wet, just bright lights and loud booms; i like the comparison of booming above and booms here
not even the cows are impressed.
Grazing, they stand in open fields,  in winter drink
water from icy troughs,  their black coats
shaggy then and full, beautiful like furs walking
down  fifth avenue only alive;
when I take the axe to break the ice
I wear a black woolen coat with wide shoulders
that belonged to my father;
it hangs thick and heavy, like a familiar embrace.