Curiosity

[Wjames]

Love the edit. Really do, it paints such a perfect picture. "asphalt driveway" was a good change, and the military + base were good additions.
Two little nits: I found "the child" a bit formal. Maybe consider "a child" or "the kid" or something. Also the line break in S2L2 could be improved upon.
Thanks for posting though, really lovely vignette.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I'm also kind of glad my computer broke (it was under warranty) as I've had to dig through lots of the old poems I posted a while back, and some of them were good ideas that I never fully fleshed out. I do like "a child" better than "the child", I'll make that edit, thanks.

How would you do the line breaks there? I can see how it gets a little disjointed, but I don't really like it like this (probably the most natural breaks) for some reason:

Ants dart in military zig-zags towards base,
a pile of sand in a crack on the sidewalk;
smoke rises from their graves.