09-17-2014, 04:52 AM
Love the edit. Really do, it paints such a perfect picture. "asphalt driveway" was a good change, and the military + base were good additions.
Two little nits: I found "the child" a bit formal. Maybe consider "a child" or "the kid" or something. Also the line break in S2L2 could be improved upon.
Thanks for posting though, really lovely vignette.
Two little nits: I found "the child" a bit formal. Maybe consider "a child" or "the kid" or something. Also the line break in S2L2 could be improved upon.
Thanks for posting though, really lovely vignette.
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.