If not god...who?

[Keith]

Whatever else we claim as ours, inside the bag that we call us, not sure about bag, nothing tangible its just too blunt for me
we are more than the hydrogen that suns sublime in nuclear flame. I like the sonics of suns sublime and the use of suns ,I would of been predictable and wrote burns
That simple trick of gravity combined with heat, spontaneous like the break here
and without god, makes molten mass that but for us would have no name.

Yet here we are, named Dick and Tom, agglomerates of fusion fire Fire sounds odd, out of place or context, It could be me.
held tight together for some time, which in itself is not defined. nice internal rhymes
At best we say that we pass through, like current through a copper wire;
except, of course, electron flow is by that very path confined.

Not so the spirit loosed from  bonds; valency, like carbon digits,
grasps and grips what has no soul but lets slips through the human essence.again good sonics
Moved by this strange inoculant, we live and love and fuss and fidget;
time deforms the hands that hook us, dangling over fate’s senescence.

Old age it seems is an illusion, atomic parts remain as new;
the force that binds our bits together will not hold us hale and well.
Who made this plan, this rum re-cycle…building us with such poor glue? rum re-cycle, very nice
Ah, you say, that must be god…and if not He then who in hell? I like the close and the twist here to hell, but why capitalize He and not God?

Tectak
2014

Very much enjoyed this scientific approach to old age, I had to google a few words but I got there, I should also say I had read it three times before I noticed the rhyming scheme i think this was due to the clever internal rhymes and deft use of alliteration. My favorite line is the penultimate one because it challenges our design. Other than to throw in a cheap "it seems a little wordy" I have no other crit. Best Keith