Diana

[cjchaffin]

not bad but a bit more depth wouldn't go amiss. if you move the opening cliche down it wil give the poem more strength.
thanks for the read.

I paint her in summer sun, a suggest would be under, of course you could be using sunlight as a colour but i suspect not. another suggestion would be to make [the midday breeze caressing] the first line and the first line the after [Diana’s proud breasts,]
the midday breeze caressing
Diana’s proud breasts, i'd suggest a period here; proud breast is a pretty common phrase.
warm fingers of August heat no need for heat or no need for wam, personally i'd forgo warm as it's a little weaker.
tracing circles over taut flesh.

Brushstrokes mimic alabaster skin a suggestion would be impart instead of mimic.
dimpled with shades of barest pink;
her cheeks flush, fires stoked within— i'd place this dash at the end of the stanza for tension.
she is aroused, and I am nervous.

The model’s eyes narrow in mischief.
I ask her not to smile feels very mundane, i wonder if she could be rebuked by an action a painter may make with his brush. example: [i rebuked her with a flick of vermillion]

but she does anyway.

great ideas, billy. i'm reworking the entire thing at this point, so i will take your suggestions and play with them a bit. thanks for showing an interest in this.