Suburban Guerillas

[Erthona]

This seems to be primarily in accentual verse, roaming between 2 and 4 foot line. The transitions seem to work seamlessly. The pattern seems to energize the poem throughout. As this is mostly in rhyming couplets, it sometimes does not follow that pattern, and also some off rhymes that are probably stretched to far, i.e.,

marriage-garage

To me the 4th section is handled somewhat inelegantly. As well as being obvious:

"The suburban guerillas are marching to war,  (I would drop the "the")

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of ........business?"

I understand what you are trying to do by dropping the rhyme, I just don't think it works. I was not holding my breath waiting for a rhyme with war to appear, and then being shocked when it did not happen.




Although the theme of the poem has been overused to the point of triteness; despite that, the bouncy, and energetic way of the poem keeps the reader involved even though the outcome is assured.

Dale