09-11-2014, 07:44 AM
some lines seem to be rough and may need rephrasing. Like the first line " right now I'm wondering, where are you now? You could have said I'm wondering right now, where are you?. Also, I did not see the use of the inverted commas at the beginning and I did not see where they ended. The second line did not seem to smooth-en out with the first line. The second line seems to go with the third so maybe the starting had the problem causing a roughness to how the poem sounds.