09-09-2014, 04:49 PM
Hi Wjames
I want to say first off that I do really like this, because I need to say that as unfortunatly I do not share the enthusiasm of the others and seem to be flying against the wind here.
I love the theme / subject. Think the overall take on the subject has been well handled
BUT...thought that every verse boardered on cliche for me.
Each of your pictures were part of everyday imagery for me. Squeezing conversation out like the last bit of toothpast is perhaps top of my list, closely followed by an image of forced smile / words. Even the raw steak lines were overly familiar.
So I have not offered a line by line because I would find myself commenting on every line with the same comment and i don't want to do this because having said all of the above...I do still really like this one....so sorry no really objective or targeted crit beyond those thoughts.
AJ.
I want to say first off that I do really like this, because I need to say that as unfortunatly I do not share the enthusiasm of the others and seem to be flying against the wind here.
I love the theme / subject. Think the overall take on the subject has been well handled
BUT...thought that every verse boardered on cliche for me.
Each of your pictures were part of everyday imagery for me. Squeezing conversation out like the last bit of toothpast is perhaps top of my list, closely followed by an image of forced smile / words. Even the raw steak lines were overly familiar.
So I have not offered a line by line because I would find myself commenting on every line with the same comment and i don't want to do this because having said all of the above...I do still really like this one....so sorry no really objective or targeted crit beyond those thoughts.
AJ.