< too bright to see >

[Nicco]

Hi;
i really like your short poem, nice imagery.
You may want to use,,,,on top of us,,,omit ,,,on us,,,after the first face to face is not necessary.

on top of us
mountain, snow
caped
sun reflected
earth to face

And I like yours as well.
Especially "earth to face".
You take what you like and leave the rest behind.
You are the one I aim for.
Ray

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I feel like this could have potential if you were to extend it. Describe it more go into detail more it could broom a great masterpiece

I appreciate your intent.
What I would like to hear from you is the details.
Not the details I should add, but the details you saw when you read it.
Ray