cherry blossoms

[Todd]

This is lovely. The last two lines are so vibrant. S2 is where it weighs down for me. Great opening, great closing...the middle a bit of a delay...not awful but here's a thought. How about replace s2 with a line, maybe something like

to melt under summer sun

If you chose to do something like that. I'd still keep 3 strophes just make s2 a single line.

Again just a thought.

Best,

Todd