09-07-2014, 11:38 AM
Just some quick edits for clarity and a smoother line. I understand your wanting to indicate the passage of time, but I think that is implied by what is occurring
"Cherry blossom sheds
pink snowflakes that
litter my front lawn
melting away
under the eye
of the summer sun
leaving only a stone
surrounded by fruit"
dale
"Cherry blossom sheds
pink snowflakes that
litter my front lawn
melting away
under the eye
of the summer sun
leaving only a stone
surrounded by fruit"
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.