09-06-2014, 07:00 AM
So I guess I'm with everyone else-- I was looking forward to the edit (not because I really thought it needed to be improved, but because yay edits!) but this one went the wrong direction. But hey, it happens sometimes.
One thing I've realized posting my own stuff here is that sometimes the narrative I have in my mind doesn't come across AT ALL, and how that isn't necessarily a bad thing. The original version of this was a bit random but in a very good way. Reading the "story" you were trying to tell in the comments just sort of cheapened it for me. I read an innocence into the first one, and even if that's not what you intended, I liked it. ;p
There were some changes worth keeping though, for sure-- "what if they get you?" (deliciously childlike and fits the mood nicely), the whistle line (I'm with danny there), plus "yuck yuck" is perfect.
Hoping to see edit 2!
-justcloudy
One thing I've realized posting my own stuff here is that sometimes the narrative I have in my mind doesn't come across AT ALL, and how that isn't necessarily a bad thing. The original version of this was a bit random but in a very good way. Reading the "story" you were trying to tell in the comments just sort of cheapened it for me. I read an innocence into the first one, and even if that's not what you intended, I liked it. ;p
There were some changes worth keeping though, for sure-- "what if they get you?" (deliciously childlike and fits the mood nicely), the whistle line (I'm with danny there), plus "yuck yuck" is perfect.
Hoping to see edit 2!
-justcloudy
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.