i have to admit, i never saw him coming 
you state the first one was a failure, i'm not sure it was. it may have been to you the poet but i found it to be pretty good. i also felt you can have just added one or two lines to make the mad guy less ambiguous. i do prefer the original crow.
ps, use the the title to let the reader know what it's about. 'confessions of a willy waggler' or not but you get the point i'm making. i hope.
you state the first one was a failure, i'm not sure it was. it may have been to you the poet but i found it to be pretty good. i also felt you can have just added one or two lines to make the mad guy less ambiguous. i do prefer the original crow.
ps, use the the title to let the reader know what it's about. 'confessions of a willy waggler' or not but you get the point i'm making. i hope.