09-04-2014, 01:38 PM
TE,
I agree, it has little of poetry in it. More a short narrative than a poem. I thought about putting it in short form, but I knew someone would say it's not short enough. That's not usually the problem. Oh well, it is unreasonable to expect consistency in an inconsistent world.
I actually thought about you when I was writing this, as it seemed more your style than mine, but I don't argue with them, I just catch them as they come out of the shoot. I started to add more, but then I thought, what would TE do? and decided against it!
The last four lines are in present tense.
I figured the blood spurting from his headless body was texture enough
Thanks for your comments, as always, appreciated.
Dale
I agree, it has little of poetry in it. More a short narrative than a poem. I thought about putting it in short form, but I knew someone would say it's not short enough. That's not usually the problem. Oh well, it is unreasonable to expect consistency in an inconsistent world.
I actually thought about you when I was writing this, as it seemed more your style than mine, but I don't argue with them, I just catch them as they come out of the shoot. I started to add more, but then I thought, what would TE do? and decided against it!
The last four lines are in present tense.
I figured the blood spurting from his headless body was texture enough
Thanks for your comments, as always, appreciated.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.