The box

[just mercedes]

Hi dennis, and welcome to the Pen!

I've made a few notes on your poem. Your idea is worth pursuing, but I'd like to know more about this box - why you think it is there, what it does to your life to make you want to escape it, and what you expect of freedom.

I was born in the light, a strange feeling of burning. into?
The first thing I saw was my mothers alien face. mother's
I heard a voice that I had heard many times, the repeat of 'heard' grates for me - can you find another word to use?
but saw a world I could never have pictured.
The next thing I new I was alone in a box, knew
a box that has surrounded me throughout my life. again, the repeats of 'box' are off-putting to me
I try to escape the box, but my parents won't let me.
I try to jump out the box, but people tell me to stay grounded. jump out of
I often wonder what will happen to me after my second birth.is this needed?
Perhaps my new box will set me free.