Small Things

[ellajam]

Hi, danny. Interesting, here are a few notes.

Film frames rapidly
step us closer to the scene
of a dragonfly's wings
buzzing like static. Because static also means still it didn't work for me here.
His iridescent carapace
is purple-green in the macro
lens light. Bristled
with sparse whiskers,
he penetrates a smaller Smaller being seems too vague in such a specific poem.
being with his fangs.
Closer still we are
shuttered inward to Maybe a comma instead of "to".
micro-organisms colonizing
his body like a planet;
a place where there exists I'm not sure you need this line.
a chaos of larvae and
their predators. Fat white
worms cannot escape agile
infectious spiders moving
too fast for the eye.
The breaks in the last 5 lines seem off, and maybe cut agile and/or infectious.

Fun read, thanks for posting it.