First Date

[Wjames]

Thanks for all the responses guys, sorry its taken me so long to respond, my computer broke and I've been inhumanely busy with work and getting ready to go to school. I've got a lot of poems I need to work on, this one probably needs the least attention (or maybe the most, since I like this one the most). Once I get back to school and things quiet down a bit I'm gonna start hacking away at them.

So far for this poem, I think the "agonizing over every silence" bit, as well as the middle stanza could definitely be improved, and perhaps cutting "raw" from the last stanza.

Chris, I originally wrote the final stanza using "her", but I use it twice in the middle stanza, so I changed it to the. If I end up doing away with the middle stanza for something else, I'll probably use "her" in the last stanza.

Thanks again everyone