Rave

[danny_]

lol, crazy. i wouldn't be found in such a place. but you brought out an intimacy with the atmosphere. some dang good strong points:

someone’s dad just bought a $12 Heineken
for a girl scout.
The men’s bathroom
functions as a nighttime confessional
for those high enough to tell the truth
and no one in the stalls
are surprised at what they hear.

and

Hell has no demons;
they’re all dancing in the Cow Palace!

except i don't like the formal title, because i don't know where that is. maybe the fact that they are all in *this place* is more important. (that's what i think. Cow Palace, i'm like wha? where is that? what a strange name.)

but tonight,
God isn’t dancing.

meh, not so special ending for me. what night is he ever dancing in that place, or any place? go into something personal. there's all this definition and it's really real, but there's no opinion. give us one straight forward opinion at the end. i am attempting in my mind to do that, such as "but tonight i wouldn't be anywhere else," but that's kind of flat for an ending. you know what i mean? let us know that in all its badness and sin, you just wouldn't be anywhere else.

(again, i wouldn't be there... but the visuals are real and true.)