08-24-2014, 11:54 PM
People seem to like the title, and I love any allusion to Lewis, but I don't think the poem is bizarre enough for this reference. This seems like a pretty common occurrence, instead of an unusual one, and in many ways that makes it a great poem--it's pretty damn close to home.
I think S4 is the weakest because you've given us such vivid images to cling to, then this S is pretty narrative and blah. (sorry)
The frozen cake top--does this refer to a frozen wedding cake? I think so, but it gave me a pause just a bit, may be an over-the-pond vernacular issue, though.
It's very striking in its realism. I've read a few times now, and even while I'm writing I'm wondering...perhaps the title does fit. God, I am so useless...
mel.
I think S4 is the weakest because you've given us such vivid images to cling to, then this S is pretty narrative and blah. (sorry)
The frozen cake top--does this refer to a frozen wedding cake? I think so, but it gave me a pause just a bit, may be an over-the-pond vernacular issue, though.
It's very striking in its realism. I've read a few times now, and even while I'm writing I'm wondering...perhaps the title does fit. God, I am so useless...
mel.