First Date

[cjchaffin]

hi W. this is a neat little snapshot of a much bigger story. i like that you kept it simple.
i have a few suggestions to use or lose, as always, but overall i found this really enticing and easy to read:

I squeezed conversation out
like empty toothpaste; use a comma instead of a semi-colon, as these are not both independent clauses
agonizing over every silence.

Her smile seemed as forced as my words,
and I couldn't make myself look her in the eyes. cliché...i think you can say this differently, in a fresher way, and still retain the meaning. it would also serve to bolster the middle of your poem, which is the weakest section and could use propping up since you start and end so well

The steak was bleeding raw,
and I felt I was the cow
as she made the first cut. i love the ending. brutal, but honest. and it works well in this scenario