08-23-2014, 09:53 AM
mc
Nice use of iambic tetrameter. Metrically the only problem was the "up" followed by as are both are unstressed syllables, and for me "up" seem the heavier of the two and I had to restart the line at that point. A cleaver use of the sonnet rhyme pattern. As Tom notes it is "veracity verse", although for me the truth of it gives no comfort, just reminding me what is forever lost, and enunciating that which is currently true but have yet to come to a complete acceptance of.
However the fault is in the reader not in the poem. Sonically it's calmness reminds me of a pastoral.
A very solid write,
Dale
Nice use of iambic tetrameter. Metrically the only problem was the "up" followed by as are both are unstressed syllables, and for me "up" seem the heavier of the two and I had to restart the line at that point. A cleaver use of the sonnet rhyme pattern. As Tom notes it is "veracity verse", although for me the truth of it gives no comfort, just reminding me what is forever lost, and enunciating that which is currently true but have yet to come to a complete acceptance of.
However the fault is in the reader not in the poem. Sonically it's calmness reminds me of a pastoral.
A very solid write,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.