Fever under Radio

[ajcohen613]

Edit:

Fever under Radio
She lies on the floor
listening to The Kinks, /what song by The Kinks? Further detail in this regard would be nice.
cat curled besides her.

She lingers, shivering,
until the stars /until? Then what? She no longer shivers/lingers?
come out to dance.

I watch from the mattress./ I watch her from the mattress..right?
We know, this whole town / don't need the comma after "know"
might burn down tonight.

The wind comes like horses
jumping against the window. /"like horses"..."jumping" against the window? Seems odd..horses aren't usually known for being fervent jumpers.

She dreams of nothing,/ dreams of "nothing" seems like a cop out to me..you could try and insert something really potent here. Dreams allow for a lot of creativity, so "nothing" seems much too empty.
clutches the pillow
waits for the end of summer.

Maybe she’ll walk into the river,
pockets filled with stones,
or grow overnight to an old woman
before a single TV dinner.

A ghost. Maybe she is one already. /Lots of maybes..you might consider shedding some.

Hope this helps.