The Elder's Prayer (first edit)
#9
Hi - I enjoy your poem, and I think you've edited it well. I'd look at the '-ing' words in the first half again.

For me, the poem starts with 'Quickly' - the first part doesn't really add to my knowledge of the scene, and feels as though it's you, writing yourself into the poem.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by Bunx - 07-31-2014, 07:57 AM
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by Erthona - 07-31-2014, 09:58 AM
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by billy - 07-31-2014, 06:07 PM
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by ellajam - 07-31-2014, 10:18 PM
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by Tiger the Lion - 08-01-2014, 10:42 AM
RE: The Elder's Prayer - by Pink_Bunny - 08-02-2014, 04:04 AM
RE: The Elder's Prayer (first edit) - by just mercedes - 08-20-2014, 08:35 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!