08-20-2014, 08:35 AM
Hi - I enjoy your poem, and I think you've edited it well. I'd look at the '-ing' words in the first half again.
For me, the poem starts with 'Quickly' - the first part doesn't really add to my knowledge of the scene, and feels as though it's you, writing yourself into the poem.
For me, the poem starts with 'Quickly' - the first part doesn't really add to my knowledge of the scene, and feels as though it's you, writing yourself into the poem.
