08-16-2014, 07:34 AM
The punctuation here is essentially random.
First line - okay
Third line - why capitalize "To"?
Third line - also that's not a sentence, why a period?
Fifth line - why not "A friendship, defending itself" or "A friendship defending itself", I don't get the point of these periods.
Eighth line - Why capitalize "That"?
Eighth line - I dislike the phrase "unarmored hearts", it's one of the phrases that sounds like it should mean more than it really does
Eleventh line - Why is "And fear" a whole other sentence?
Twelfth line - You've already used "Armed" as a description, this seems tired as a reptition
I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea what this poem is about so I can't even approach it on a thematic level.
First line - okay
Third line - why capitalize "To"?
Third line - also that's not a sentence, why a period?
Fifth line - why not "A friendship, defending itself" or "A friendship defending itself", I don't get the point of these periods.
Eighth line - Why capitalize "That"?
Eighth line - I dislike the phrase "unarmored hearts", it's one of the phrases that sounds like it should mean more than it really does
Eleventh line - Why is "And fear" a whole other sentence?
Twelfth line - You've already used "Armed" as a description, this seems tired as a reptition
I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea what this poem is about so I can't even approach it on a thematic level.