Plotinus And The Gnostics

[ray]

I spent a while trying to figure out the rhyme scheme....granted our accents are a pond away...but I don't see how some of it fits. Perhaps it's just sporadic, which I don't mind, especially in a poem about a punk band (been in several myself)-- in fact, I'm not totally sure if you are a Brit or an Aussie, which totally changes the 'punter' meaning. At any rate, pretty sure it's brit.

The one nit I do have is the line that says "it were the audience" ---audience is single, so it should be was. very interesting piece....


bean

Thanks, Bena. I could call the rhyme scheme sporadic but I think what really happened is that I set out writing non-rhyme and gradually reverted to type. But the rhythm is there. Rhythm is king.
I should make it one or the other but I never get round to it because I always get distracted thinking about a new 8th verse, for symmetry's sake.
I was in a kind of a punk band once, wrote good lyrics too, but they threw me out because I insisted the harmonica was the punkest instrument there is. I was right too.
It were is a British affectation. I should stop doing it.