A Love Armed

[metalfan91]

I like it. Reminiscent of Tolstoyan Christianity, in some ways. One suggestion would be to keep a continuous structure with the opening line of each section.

The world awaits a war on wars.

(The world awaits?) A language before words

The world awaits a love armed

or

The world awaits a war on wars.

A language before words

A love armed .......

I like this suggestion. I will have to see how it looks and flows. Thank you for that!

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I like it. I'm not a big fan of ideological or philosophical poetry personally. I generally prefer poetry that handles a tangible moment in time, as opposed to talks about a big broad vague topic. But some of the imagery you used... like the black flag.. was good for creating an image in my head. I think for what you were attempting it's honestly a big short and I'd rather you expand on it a bit more and reach some sort of ultimate conclusion but for what it was I think you demonstrated your viewpoint pretty clearly given the context of the poem. Nice work. Just work on leaving the reader with a more satisfied conclusion.

I appreciate your thoughts on this. Most of what I write tends to be broad and not really a tangible moment in time. I know that is not the norm and some may see it as amateurish (I'm not saying I'm a master poet either) but that is what my style gravitates toward. I like to make a short statement about things in a general scope, which is not always the best for clarity. I am glad you like this, though.

I have a few questions. What ultimate conclusion do you see from this? What is unsatisfying about the ending?