08-13-2014, 06:02 AM
I like it. I'm not a big fan of ideological or philosophical poetry personally. I generally prefer poetry that handles a tangible moment in time, as opposed to talks about a big broad vague topic. But some of the imagery you used... like the black flag.. was good for creating an image in my head. I think for what you were attempting it's honestly a big short and I'd rather you expand on it a bit more and reach some sort of ultimate conclusion but for what it was I think you demonstrated your viewpoint pretty clearly given the context of the poem. Nice work. Just work on leaving the reader with a more satisfied conclusion.