08-13-2014, 02:44 AM
Very well crafted. I'm not sure about unchecked fury, especially in regard to the relationship - something like repressed or controlled would be more apt, I think.
Beneath her feet, the ground
shifts without warning
and gives way.
The last line is maybe superfluous.
Beneath her feet, the ground
shifts without warning
and gives way.
The last line is maybe superfluous.
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.