08-12-2014, 07:17 PM
I think the 3rd verse and especially prayer/layer are the best part of the poem. The other rhymes are all very pat, a little variety helps
to colour in our living layer - a really nice line.
What I stumbled on most was the end lines. I'd have preferred an extra couple of syllables, but the bastards' names don't easily fit do they? Shame.
to colour in our living layer - a really nice line.
What I stumbled on most was the end lines. I'd have preferred an extra couple of syllables, but the bastards' names don't easily fit do they? Shame.
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.