[EDIT 3.56] To brighten the flame

[EDIT 3.56] To brighten the flame

just mercedes
Unregistered

#12

08-10-2014, 03:32 PM

Good edit. Still lots of ing's in your poem - I'd like to see some more active verb forms. I'm not sure what 'her intent' is, or who 'she' is - the sun, or the loved one?

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

[EDIT 3.56] To brighten the flame - by QDeathstar - 08-02-2014, 09:12 PM

RE: To brighten the flame - by bena - 08-02-2014, 11:49 PM

RE: To brighten the flame - by SomeRandom - 08-04-2014, 01:49 PM

RE: To brighten the flame - by QDeathstar - 08-05-2014, 11:34 AM

RE: To brighten the flame - by billy - 08-05-2014, 07:23 PM

RE: To brighten the flame EDIT 1 - by QDeathstar - 08-09-2014, 11:21 AM

RE: To brighten the flame EDIT 1 - by just mercedes - 08-09-2014, 06:13 PM

RE: To brighten the flame EDIT 1 - by billy - 08-09-2014, 06:38 PM

RE: To brighten the flame EDIT 1 - by QDeathstar - 08-10-2014, 11:10 AM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by milo - 08-10-2014, 12:15 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by ajcohen613 - 08-10-2014, 03:44 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by QDeathstar - 08-10-2014, 12:41 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by milo - 08-10-2014, 09:15 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by just mercedes - 08-10-2014, 03:32 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by QDeathstar - 08-10-2014, 04:34 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by billy - 08-10-2014, 06:44 PM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by metalfan91 - 08-11-2014, 04:35 AM

RE: [EDIT 2] To brighten the flame - by QDeathstar - 08-15-2014, 08:04 AM

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Login
Username:
Password:	Lost Password?
	Remember me