[EDIT 3.56] To brighten the flame

[milo]

well, it is in novice so there are limits to what we can say or do. It is encumbered by filler and inefficient baggage. Consider the first line:

Finding myself walking along alone with the sand

"Finding, myself and along" add nothing. The line is more effective, immediate communication as:

"Walking alone with the sand"

I think you should consider reading through it and deciding if each word adds to the poem or merely sits there taking up space.

Thanks for posting.

Good luck.