Fair Deal (True Love in the House edit)

[billy]

hi ella.
on the first line i read [for] as unstressed
other than that the meter of the sonnet seems good, as do the end rhymes. the title works well
just a few nits from me. in the odd place i the mid line period made me falter a little. you have some good alliteration with the s's and b's
wish i could be more help.

thanks for the read.

Edit 1 (true, keith)

Someday I'll trade the vacuum for
a dusty house that's calm, at least
I'll gag its irritating roar. not a bad opening, gag here works well for me, i liked the 2nd line best at first [at least] on that line didn't work for me but after a few reads i think it really does
I'd rather cook a full-blown feast,
my kitchen humming in my head: isn't it a given that it's yours, a suggestion would be [the kitchen] and to change [the hissing] on the next line for [a hissing]
the hissing pan for meat or crepe,
the soothing squeak of dough for bread and [the] at the start of this line to [that] like it feels part of you
against the board, the beater's scrape. the comma feels like a false break to me

Alone I clear each meal's debris
and scrub the porcelain sink, again
the dinner cleanup's left to me;
I guess I really can't complain.
He vacuums carpets, washes clothes,
two gifts more dear than gem or rose. good ending


*from NaPM