08-01-2014, 05:51 AM
Poe,
Shouldn't L7 "were" be "was", "were seems awkward. I was/ They were.
"I live just me with my windows wide" --> I live alone with windows wide.
For the most part this reads as four feet of accentual verse per line, and rhyming couplets. Unfortunately, I have no suggestion for the final line. It significantly diverges from the pattern that most of the poem is written in.
Pretty good poem for a 16 y/o.
Dale
Shouldn't L7 "were" be "was", "were seems awkward. I was/ They were.
"I live just me with my windows wide" --> I live alone with windows wide.
For the most part this reads as four feet of accentual verse per line, and rhyming couplets. Unfortunately, I have no suggestion for the final line. It significantly diverges from the pattern that most of the poem is written in.
Pretty good poem for a 16 y/o.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.