07-31-2014, 10:51 AM
(07-31-2014, 09:35 AM)Bunx Wrote: Verse 1:
Stepping out
of control.
Taking down
your only goal. Having read all lyrics, I still don't quite know what your "goal" actually is. Expand or connect this somehow.
What will happen
to you there?
Be safe when
your mind declares
it wants to go.
Verse 2:
Reaching out
for a rope.
At first I thought this was a suicide image, since it does kind of seem that way when you take it with the previous lines. Read/spoken by itself, it seems as just a cry for help. May be a bit confusing.
Take me back
there's no hope.
If you want
to see me again.
Bring me too,
I'll return again.
Bridge:
Who thought I could dream
for a week, and then a month
or so it seems.
When will I be awake again? Instead of a question here I think it would be more effective to just say "I'll never be awake again" Also your song is getting question heavy for me at this point.
This voice in my head, it's not normal,
it's what I hear outside.
Is there a place where I can hide?
Pull me up, pull me out, to realities confines To me, this works better as the title of your song.