You're Leaving Home

You're Leaving Home

just mercedes
Unregistered

#10

07-31-2014, 07:40 AM

Great edit - your poem is stronger now. I agree there's a bit of confusion about the bedroom floor - '...scattering.../pizza and the bedroom floor' scattering pizza boxes on the floor? I don't know, but that's the only place I stumble in my reading.

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Messages In This Thread

You're Leaving Home - by Keith - 06-24-2014, 11:25 AM

RE: Your Leaving Home - by Tiger the Lion - 06-24-2014, 11:59 AM

RE: Your Leaving Home - by Keith - 06-25-2014, 05:24 AM

RE: Your Leaving Home - by Jinxy - 06-24-2014, 12:18 PM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by JeffreyGonell - 07-30-2014, 09:03 AM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by Keith - 07-31-2014, 07:24 AM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by Tiger the Lion - 07-30-2014, 10:33 AM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by billy - 07-30-2014, 11:38 PM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by poe - 07-31-2014, 04:13 AM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by just mercedes - 07-31-2014, 07:40 AM

RE: You're Leaving Home - by Keith - 08-03-2014, 06:14 AM

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