You're Leaving Home

[Keith]

The last line says it all for me: "You still have your key." In other words, you can return home after experiencing the real world outside.
The parent is letting the kid go, after trying to hold him from leaving.
To the parent: You're not ready to leave.
To the child: Let me spread my wings.
The child feels he's ready, but the parent, through experience, knows he's not.

Thank you JG you seem to have it all here, this one has probably been covered quite a lot but its topical to me at the moment. Thanks Keith

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Edit 1 Tiger Lion

I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books,
pizza and a bedroom floor,
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years to grow your own beard.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe flicked pout
to a landing spot,
maybe a tower block tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever it want's to be.
You still have the key.

Original
I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books,
pizza and a bedroom floor,
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years in a world of warcraft.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe of black dye.
A landing spot,
maybe a tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever you want to be.
You still have your key.

Hi Keith. I really like the edit. "tower block tree" has some great sounds in it. Plus it can be read 2 ways. And I always love that. What I like most about this poem is that the last line makes me want to go back and reread the first lines. - needless to say, I've read this more than once.

Hi TTL glad you like the edit, thanks for the help and the kind words. Best Keith

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not a lot wrong with this keith i say he in my feedback though it could as easily be a she. good take on preparing the child for the university leaving scenario of many parents.

Edit 1 Tiger Lion

I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books, great opening, it sounds like your expecting him to jump or leave (metaphorically.) it also seems he left suddenly before you realized the fact.
pizza and a bedroom floor, i can't grasp the bedroom floor being scattered.
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years to grow your own beard. would an [and] add something to the line, i usually advise brevity but i think the cut to this line to abrupt.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe flicked pout
to a landing spot,
maybe a tower block tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever it want's to be.
You still have the key. great ending. and it carries a confidence that he'll return the better person.

Original
I was pressing your parachute
with a travel iron,
when the wind took you,
scattering a trail of books,
pizza and a bedroom floor,
but what for?
a debt the size of my first house?
Your prize a zero hour contract,
three years in a world of warcraft.

I wonder will your canopy ever fill
enough so you can see
through the fringe of black dye.
A landing spot,
maybe a tree,
a pupa cocooned, changing inside,
to whatever you want to be.
You still have your key.

Thanks for taking the time to comment Billy much appreciated, I like the and, so will add to the edit, any teenage bedroom floor is always scattered full of clothes and crap but it goes with them or in the bin
I guess I hoped that would come across but with have a think before changing. Best Keith

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I like the edit. Like the parachute metaphor. Liked changing "your key" to "the key".

Glad you liked the edit Poe thanks for calling out the key change Best Keith